Meeting people is never easy. Add in a computer screen between you and any potential dates, and it gets a lot more difficult. When you meet someone for the first time at a coffee shop or bar, you can usually get a pretty good idea of who they are. Chatting with someone over the internet, though, leaves a lot for interpretation. Technology has given us more ways to meet people, but it doesn’t always help with finding the right one for you. Because of that, a lot of people automatically assume online dating is bad. So when talking to anyone over the internet, there are specific online dating red flags you need to look out for so you won’t be blindsided. Before you even make plans to meet your date in person, see if they have any of these undesirable personality traits.
The 8 Most Common Online Dating Red Flags
Most people tend to put their best foot forward when dating, whether it’s on or offline. But sometimes, they’ll accidentally let some of their most negative qualities slip through. Fortunately, if you know what to look for, you’ll be able to tell if your online date is worth your time or not.
1. Asks For Money
Scammers use online dating sites and apps to swindle money out of innocent people who are just looking for love and companionship. Oftentimes, requests for money go hand-in-hand with fabricated stories about sudden financial emergencies. No matter how well you think you think you know someone, they shouldn’t be asking you for money over a dating app.
2. Uses Love Bombing Techniques
To create the illusion of a close relationship, some people will “love bomb” potential dates that they talk to over dating apps. “Love bombing” is when someone showers another person with affection, in order to influence them in some way. By doing this, they can easily convince their victims to believe anything they say. Scammers will use this to their advantage to coerce money out of them.
3. Puts Up Blurry Or Unclear Photos
Is it hard to see what your someone actually looks like from their dating profile photo? How difficult is it to find them on social media? It might be because they’re using a fake identity. If you’re having trouble finding out who they really are, our person search tool should answer all your questions.
4. Has A Negative Attitude
If your date is always complaining or looks at life with a negative outlook, their attitude most likely won’t get any better as your relationship continues. That’s when you have to consider whether this is really someone you want to share your life with.
5. Procrastinates Meeting You In Person
Whether they just don’t seem as enthusiastic about meeting up as you are, or if they constantly cancel on you, this is one of the biggest red flags that’s unique to online dating. Your date could be afraid of commitment, or might be testing the waters to see if anyone else better comes along.
6. Takes Days To Respond To Messages
It’s not uncommon for people to do a “slow fade” to try to let someone down easy. If this is someone’s general pattern, it could be a sign that they’ll eventually ghost you. Or, they could be cheating on their significant other and only replying to your messages when they’re completely alone.
7. Gets Angry If You Don’t Reply Right Away
On the other end of the spectrum, there are people on dating apps who feel annoyed when they don’t get a response within 10 minutes. When it comes to texting, timeliness is important, but everyone has their own lives. Any adult should understand that it just isn’t possible for you to instantly get back to every message they send you.
8. Uses Crude Language Or Pickup Lines
Everyone has different goals when they use a dating app, from casual encounters to long-term, committed relationships. No matter what you’re looking for, you should be treated with respect. If someone objectifies you or talks to you in an inappropriate way right from the start, be careful.
What To Watch For When You Go On A Date
Your date may not have shown you any online dating red flags when you chatted with them, and that’s great! But there are still other warning signs you need to look out for when you actually meet up. Make sure they don’t have any of these undesirable personality traits.
Acts Rude To Other People
How someone treats their waiter is one of the easiest ways to see what they’re really like. It’s also one of those red flags that you can’t see over an online dating app. Are they only respectful to you, but standoffish or rude to everyone else? When someone shows you their true colors, believe them.
Calls All Their Exes Crazy
On a first date, it’s already impolite to mention any past exes in a casual conversation. But if your date seems angry or bitter about their past relationships, to the point where they call all of their exes “crazy,” that’s something you should pay attention to. For the most part, it’s unlikely that everyone they’ve dated is mentally unhinged. In fact, your date is the only common factor in those relationships – so maybe they’re the one with the problem.
Only Talks About Themselves
Dates are about getting to know each other. Some people tend to talk a lot when they’re excited, but if you haven’t been able to get a word in edgewise about yourself, then your date just might not be interested in you.
Brags About Wealth And Accomplishments
If your date feels the need to flaunt their money, status, or connections, there could be a deeper reason why. Be sure to ask what their occupation is. If they give you a vague answer, you may want to rethink whether you’ll be able to trust them or not.
What To Do If You See Red Flags In A Relationship
It’s easier said than done, but the best thing to do is remove yourself from the situation and walk away. If you feel unsafe for any reason, called a trusted friend or family member to come pick you up. Make sure to give them your location ahead of time so they can search for your address. Worst case scenario, call law enforcement if you need to get out of there as soon as possible. Just like anything else, there are pros and cons that come with online dating, and you should be prepared for all of them.
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